No Emotions at this Restaurant

 There is a small family run restaurant here in town that we visit on a regular basis. The italian style food is pretty good and the cost is reasonable. It has everything that you should want from a restaurant except one thing. It seems to be lacking on the friendliness social side of the scale. As a matter of fact you could say that it is lacking any emotion at all. There is no friendly banter with the customers and there is no angry outbursts towards the hired help. The ambience of the restaurant is a black hole of emotion where there is no laughter and there is no sadness. It can be quite unnerving for the typical unsuspecting customer who rambles in and expects to be served with a smile. You get no smile, you get no neighborly banter, but you do get some good food at a reasonable price. Place your order, pay the cashier, and take your food and there will be no problems. Nobody gets hurt and you get fed.

Problem: This isn't good enough for me!! I need a little neighborly banter and I need a little social interaction when I decide to let you prepare my meal. It actually seems a little creepy to me when the restaurant staff are all working like stone cold zombies. I start wondering if I have done something wrong or wondering if they don't like my jokes. I also start wondering if they are all convicts working on a diabolical scheme to over- throw the local government and I have just barged into their private meeting. I also wonder if there will be strange chunks of any unidentifiable objects in my food. So far, there have been no weird chunks but the cold stone stares continue on every visit.
The proprietor of the business is zombie #1 and he is truly a piece of work. His lack of emotion and human character has permeated throughout the entire staff of his business. I was going to post an actual picture of him but this characterization will illustrate perfectly the response he gives to every customer every day.

This is the emotion-less expression I get every single time I go to the restaurant and I even get "the look" when I have used some of my best ice breaker material. For example ....

Me: " Hey,  how about those Cubbies? " .....

Zombie Man: "Can I take your order?                         

Me: " This weather we are having is perfect ..."

Zombie Man: "Do you want anything to drink?"

                                                                         

Me: " It sure looks busy in here today ... "

Zombie Man: " That will be $17.98 ... "

                                                                      

Me: " Are you going to spit in my cheerios Zombie Man ? "

Zombie Man: " Here is your receipt "

                                                                         

Me: " Are you some kind of psycho that is wanted by the Police ?"

Zombie Man: " Do you need any napkins ? "

                                                                        

Me: " I am well aware of your evil plans Zombie Man and I will report you to the authorities !!! "

Zombie Man: "Who is next ? "

                                                                          

I always leave the restaurant unharmed but also nervous that something may have been done to my food order. Each bite is preceded by careful investigation by my well trained eyes. So far, there has been nothing but tasty and fulfilling meals on each and every visit. However, the emotionless stares of Zombie Man and his

hired minions continue to haunt me. Perhaps I need some new ice breaker material.

Catfish

 

The Carmen Electra Theory and its Downfall

Have you ever experienced that strange phenomenon known as deja vu ? It involves the feeling that you are seeing a situation or experience for a second time. As the situation unfolds to the observer they get the feeling that they have seen the situation all before perhaps in a dream or past experience. Its like a replay of a scene from your life or it could be just a strange coincidence where your mind has played a trick on you. I am sure that there has been a lot of research and psychological studies on deja vu because of its commonality in the human experience.
There is another strange phenomenon that exists and randomly repeats itself at different times in my life. I have had many coincidental incidents in my life when discussing a friend, or object from the past. Many times after describing a friend or acquaintance from my past I have "coincidentally" heard from them or ran into them within the following few days. My response is usually ... " hey we were just talking about you the other day ... funny that you just appeared after all these years."  When these situations happen the feeling is a combination of coincidence and mystery. I often wonder if my thoughts had actually caused the situation to happen. This is very similar to concepts involving the achievement of your goals and the visioning process as you imagine yourself achieving a personal goal. If you can visualize it in your mind then it is achievable. I am not aware of the name of this phenomenon that causes people from your past to appear in your life just days after you have discussed them but it is a real phenomenon.
I decided to experiment with the process and to create my own rules and expectations in order to understand and identify the intricacies of this entire process. I started by thinking of food such as chicken wings, spaghetti, and hoagie sandwiches. To my delight, a few days after pondering a plate full of chicken wings I was feasting on wings with good friends at the local saloon. I gradually discovered that the phenomenon does not work with too much concentrated effort. There needs to be a vacuum of randomness and equal percentages of chance for the experience to be unique. I wondered what would happen if I randomly discussed people that I wanted to meet in select conversations throughout the day. Sometimes these would be a friend from the past or an ex co-worker that disappeared from the social radar screen. The random success rate in these circumstances is much higher than would be expected. So now I have set my sights on
Carmen Electra:

My Carmen Electra theory had been formulated and must now be tested. If I systematically discussed Carmen Electra and envisioned her presence then there was a percentage of chance and randomness that would eventually cause her to cross my path. The theory has now been well documented and the testing has been initiated in many conversations to date. There have been no indications that the theory is reliable and has not yet been proven in any scientific journals or research. She also has not randomly appeared at my office or through a telephone call. For the sake of science, and my own personal quest to get published in the journals of unexplainable social phenomenon I continue my research hidden from the spotlights of mainstream academia.

In conclusion, the current downfall of the Carmen Electra theory is that I am still waiting for that eureka moment where I can say " Carmen, I can't believe that you are here as I was just talking about you the other day."  My experiments and research shall continue.

Catfish