No Emotions at this Restaurant

 There is a small family run restaurant here in town that we visit on a regular basis. The italian style food is pretty good and the cost is reasonable. It has everything that you should want from a restaurant except one thing. It seems to be lacking on the friendliness social side of the scale. As a matter of fact you could say that it is lacking any emotion at all. There is no friendly banter with the customers and there is no angry outbursts towards the hired help. The ambience of the restaurant is a black hole of emotion where there is no laughter and there is no sadness. It can be quite unnerving for the typical unsuspecting customer who rambles in and expects to be served with a smile. You get no smile, you get no neighborly banter, but you do get some good food at a reasonable price. Place your order, pay the cashier, and take your food and there will be no problems. Nobody gets hurt and you get fed.

Problem: This isn't good enough for me!! I need a little neighborly banter and I need a little social interaction when I decide to let you prepare my meal. It actually seems a little creepy to me when the restaurant staff are all working like stone cold zombies. I start wondering if I have done something wrong or wondering if they don't like my jokes. I also start wondering if they are all convicts working on a diabolical scheme to over- throw the local government and I have just barged into their private meeting. I also wonder if there will be strange chunks of any unidentifiable objects in my food. So far, there have been no weird chunks but the cold stone stares continue on every visit.
The proprietor of the business is zombie #1 and he is truly a piece of work. His lack of emotion and human character has permeated throughout the entire staff of his business. I was going to post an actual picture of him but this characterization will illustrate perfectly the response he gives to every customer every day.

This is the emotion-less expression I get every single time I go to the restaurant and I even get "the look" when I have used some of my best ice breaker material. For example ....

Me: " Hey,  how about those Cubbies? " .....

Zombie Man: "Can I take your order?                         

Me: " This weather we are having is perfect ..."

Zombie Man: "Do you want anything to drink?"

                                                                         

Me: " It sure looks busy in here today ... "

Zombie Man: " That will be $17.98 ... "

                                                                      

Me: " Are you going to spit in my cheerios Zombie Man ? "

Zombie Man: " Here is your receipt "

                                                                         

Me: " Are you some kind of psycho that is wanted by the Police ?"

Zombie Man: " Do you need any napkins ? "

                                                                        

Me: " I am well aware of your evil plans Zombie Man and I will report you to the authorities !!! "

Zombie Man: "Who is next ? "

                                                                          

I always leave the restaurant unharmed but also nervous that something may have been done to my food order. Each bite is preceded by careful investigation by my well trained eyes. So far, there has been nothing but tasty and fulfilling meals on each and every visit. However, the emotionless stares of Zombie Man and his

hired minions continue to haunt me. Perhaps I need some new ice breaker material.

Catfish